By 
The brainwashing of girls start from the moment they become self-aware. Through the ‘teachings’ of the adults they learn how to view themselves and their roles as females. Many persons believe that girls and women are secondary or inferior to men in terms of their place in society. The preference for males dominates and girls may end up feeling like they weren’t wished for or less worthy than male siblings. This ‘unwanted status’ is linked to the sexuality of females and the fear that a girl child could bring shame upon the family. In fact, the entire female form is seen as shameful and unmentionable.
Sons are preferred
I can vividly recall a woman (with an only son), who lived in the same street, complimenting my mother for having two ‘good’ sons in my presence. I was a small child and wondered at the time why I wasn’t good. Now the same woman has two granddaughters only. I wonder how she feels about them. Another time, an elderly female relative of my mother made a similar remark in the presence of my brothers and her own daughter. She made me feel very uncomfortable but most likely that was her aim. It’s like women are trained to hate their own gender and they become so brainwashed that as adults they actively pass down this hatred to the young female generation.
The ancestors of Indo-Guyanese brought many traditions and beliefs with them from India and these were passed down. Although, people are more open-minded now than these 19th century immigrants some beliefs regarding the girl child still remain archaic and misogynistic although there has been ‘cultural modernisation’. We don’t have a caste system and I have never heard of women being abused because of an inadequate dowry or even expected to give one.
However, what remains in the minds of many is the perception that females are inferior to males, somewhat dirty and should have their sexuality controlled which extends to physical and mental control as well. The objective being not to ‘shame’ the family or be labelled by others as anything other than a ‘good girl’. Ultimately, females are raised to have good reputations which translate to being virginal, obedient, naïve, good at cooking and cleaning; and content to be housebound or have one’s physical freedom monitored. Apparently, these qualities are most desired in a bride, which is felt should be the main goal of women.
The perception that girls are inferior to boys or a burden has resulted in millions of sex-selective abortions in India which has caused a host of socials ills in parts where it is most pronounced due to a skewed gender ratio. In Guyana, thankfully people generally do not engage in sex selective abortions. The problem here though is the lack of research and information on Guyanese society; google searches and even request for data from the relevant public institutions would result in nothing of relevance or value.
Although, girls are not being aborted because of their gender many traditional views and beliefs are still ingrained in the society regardless of education level. Quite a few times at my previous workplace – where I worked for almost a decade – I heard women express such strong desires for male children as if getting a girl would result in disappointment. Some even made comments to suggest that girls would be an additional stress or ‘headache’, too much to worry about and the possibility of shaming the family.
(CNN video)
Women shaming women
By the time girls become teenagers they adopt the views the adults have regarding women and not surprisingly many would openly condemn girls and women whose behaviour they deem immoral.
Although girls are not as prized as boys they are very strictly controlled. While boys are able to express opinions, go out with friends and have relationships with the opposite sex, many brown girls do not have these privileges or they attract negative labels when they do these things. I have faced verbal abuse for my writings, got labels such as slut and whore for having (perceived) relationships with the opposite sex and growing up I had such an isolated upbringing that I find it difficult to relate to people and prefer my own company. I have been most affected by my lack of social skills when in group situations where I would be labelled as haughty or the spoil sport but the fact is, I feel claustrophobic when squeezed in among lots of people and I never know what to say or how to act.
People continue to define women based on their sexuality and morality. I have heard women condemn other women because they see them as being inherently immoral. It happens in the workplace, school, family and society. For example, it is common knowledge that in the private business environment quite often male bosses would sexually exploit their female employees.
I know of a particular married man with adult children and grandchildren who always hires young women, some teenagers, to work for him in his little office (one-man service business). Once, I saw him engaged in behaviour of a sexual nature with his young employee and persons who know him would remark that he ‘sleeps with all his girls’. I mentioned his conduct to a lady who condemned his business ethics. Instead of showing empathy she instantly said that the girls like what he is doing and ‘look for that’. This lady claimed to be a part of several religious organisations and national boards yet couldn’t offer a kind word for poor young women being taken advantage of by an old, cunning, sick predator who is also prominent in many religious organisations.
Guyana is a third-world country where young people even with excellent CSEC grades find it very difficult to get a job and even when they land one (in the private sector) their salary would most often be less than $60,000 (300 USD) per month plus if it’s a young attractive female then the risk of sexual exploitation is very high and accepted as the norm in society.
Women blamed for being abused
Whatever the situation men and women still blame females even when they are the victims. It’s like women are always jezebels; tempting and seducing men to do bad things to them. I recall a university-educated friend who once pointed out a pretty young woman on the street. She told me that the woman worked with her at a part-time job and one day she was brutally beaten by her husband – who she is still with – in front of everyone because she was having an affair with a man. I told her the husband had no right to beat the woman regardless of what she supposedly did but my friend remained firm in her belief that the lady deserved the beating.
Another time, a female relative was telling me about a girl we both know who was raped. During the conversation she questioned the clothing choice of the victim and the reason for her being out at night at the place where she was raped as if she caused it upon herself. Even children do not escape the labels and are blamed.
In Guyana, you would find a lot of middle-aged and elderly men ‘hustling’ teenagers and young women. During my high school days students and teachers both knew of school girls who were having relationships with bus drivers and conductors. These predators preyed on these little girls and instead of exposing the paedophiles, the adults and children (who couldn’t be blamed for the environment raised in) would actually dismiss such inappropriate relationships and blame the school girls for being ‘hot’, ‘wild’ and ‘bad’.
Although, I am not a social butterfly or have many close friends, countless times I have read (social media comments), observed and heard persons especially women blaming the sexuality and perceived immorality of other women and girls for whatever difficulties they face.
The fact remains that from the time girls are toddlers they are socialised to hate their bodies and view themselves as inferior to boys and men. Why are men and boys not seen as dirty or bad for having penises? Why isn’t the sexuality of the male controlled and blamed for whatever befalls him? Why are men seen as superior yet many are not taught and do not know how to cook for themselves and take care of their surroundings; these superior beings ‘depend’ on women to cook and clean for them.
Due to conditioning many women grow up to hate and condemn other women. In a number of conservative societies women are used to police other women and girls. Women cannot achieve equality and love themselves if in the first place they are ashamed of being women and limit themselves from actually living because they have vaginas and worry about what others will say or allow others to control their bodies.
http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtHgTf67hzc
